Today I decided to share a bit of my pain. I personally don’t like sharing my pain via blog but I know this pain that I’m choosing to share we’ll all endure at some point or another.
Recently one of my absolute favorite cousins lost her father. First off, I found out via Facebook, which is not in my opinion the best of ways to do so, but hey it is what it is. I immediately texted her as I’m not really good with verbal interactions during such uncomfortable times like death in less I have no choice. Especially the death of a parent which I know about all to well. I lost my father in 2006 and I struggle often knowing that I just can’t see, hear or touch him, laugh with him again and it sucks.💕
So after texting my cousin I begin to re-live the pain that I know she feels. She was much more closer with her dad than I was with mines. She was also any only child from her dad. So that tends to hit different too I’m sure. Although some weeks have passed, I know her pain is still fresh like a new knee scrap to the white meat. I’m praying for her still but it hurt not being able to reahl help ease her pain. I sent her a sweet nothing to wear and remind her of her new guardian angel. Rest peacefully Ronald! 💕Oh and both of our dads shared the name Ronald. How awesome. Losing your parent leaves you with a pain that never goes away, it only gets easier to bare, at some point way on down the line.😢
Fast forward to last week I’m seeing on Facebook that my other cousins lost their mom. She was sick battling Dementia but still as I previously said losing your parent isn’t the easiest thing to handle or heal from. It’ll always be an aching pain in replace of their absence. I know that as fresh as it is their hearts are heavy and the tears are consistent. I pray for my cousins as I know that the best thing I can do in a situation like this. Rest peacefully Terri. 💕
About two weeks ago I’m scrolling my Facebook timeline and I see my cousin is sharing a post wishing her brother a happy bearth day. I commented wishing him the same. Fast forward to last week and my aunt texted me. Your cousin passed this morning. WTH! I texted back wow, he just had a bearth day. Damn!😢
I immediately thought about my older cousins who has lost their brother. I immediately thought about my cousins closer in age who I knew he pretty much helped raise. I knew he was a staple especially to his immediate family and here I am again sending my condolences and praying for my cousins. I haven’t seen them since childhood but thanks to social media we are able to keep up with each other. I know that hit them hard. I know that this is a lot of heavy pain my family is currently enduring. It’s never easy knowing your loved ones are gone from this earthly life, no more physical existence. Just fond memories, pictures, laughs and tears. Rest peacefully Reuben! 💕
Now come yesterday as I’m packing up myself to leave work my mom texted me another sad text. April your uncle has pneumonia and has tested positive for Covid-19. Sheesh! My heart immediately skipped. I called him only to hear his voice knowing that he wasn’t gonna answer and he didn’t. This uncle is my moms brother who I just love. He gave me my nickname Bookie which only he calls me and to this day as grown as I am, I’m still his Bookie when we see each other. I gave thanks that my moms text wasn’t about death just a fight with a virus that I know my uncle will win. 🙏🏽
Thing is when Covid hit I immediately prayed over my family those near and those far. I asked that the Ancestors sheild us from this vicious virus. I asked the Creator to protect us and keep us safe from harm and death. I asked that we all make it through without having to fight this virus or whatever it is. He texted me asking that I touch and agree in prayer with him and he also let me know that his work here is not complete. I feel that! I love him so much. Feel better Unc.💕
A school mate of mines put up on Facebook how she wishes she was able to do more to help her loved ones. I felt that! I said to her prayer is the best way to help although I knew that she meant something that included action that will give immediate results. I’m not saying prayer doesn’t give immediate help but you never know the time frame your prayers will be processed in if you catch my drift. Still I pray, meditate and wait.
Good people, I’m not sure what you’re dealing with right now in your life. However my heart is heavy right now. My heart hurts for my loved ones. It’s so easy for me to hurt when my loved ones hurt. I’m strong and so are the cousins I’ve spoke about. So is my uncle. We come from strength. We know pain. We know how to grow and push through what we go through. We’re resilient and we’re faithful. My cousins will get through this as we’re all surrounded by love. Love heals!💕
I know that 2020 hasn’t been the easiest for many of us. I pray that 2020 don’t take you through more than you can bare. Nothing lasts forever so love, heal, laugh and forgive while you’re able to. Be safe out here y’all. Be blessed!
Sending love and hugs to you all.
Peace Love & Light
💕A. Ross 💋