If you judge people you have no time to love them.
— Mother Teresa
Hello, hello, hell-o! I’m back, I’m excited and I’m blogging again. This is my first post on this new blog. Yay! I’m picking up where I left off. I am ready to share, engage and enjoy. I’m just getting this blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
As a boy mom of twenty one years I’d like to share my opinion on this serious topic. I can’t believe this is a conversation to even be had. However, I’m really not sure why I’m shocked.
As a mom period we are the teachers, protectors, preachers, doctors, cheerleaders, coaches and psychiatrist to our kids. If not for our guidance can you just sit back for two minutes and think about how chaotic your child’s life would have been without you there to help them, to guide them along the way.
In case you are unaware Dwayne Wade has a son that he and his family looks at as a little girl (per the child’s choice). Recently this son has asked to be called Zaya instead of his birth given name Zaire. Aside from that “Zaya” already dresses as a girl with crop tops and long finger nails. Dwayne has shared with the public that he and his wife Gabrielle support “Zaya” fully. I highly respect that as they should.
However as a parent it is up to us to use discretion and parental guidance when dealing with decisions our children make or want to make. Personally as a parent my daughter wouldn’t be wearing crop tops and finger nails at 12. I don’t give a damn what their gender preference is. I don’t think that’s how a 12 year old should be dressed. I don’t think 12 year olds should have their nails added on too. A nice manicure with pretty colors is enough in my opinion. That’s my parental guidance towards my child decision to look growner (I know that’s not a word) than they are. Also if my son sat down and said ma, I’m not gay, I’m trans straight because I like boys🤔 I’d say no such thing son you’re either 100% straight, 100% gay or 100% bi sexual. That’s my take. I mean all that extra this and that is doing too much if you ask me.
I would allow my son to be himself but with parental guidance. He can dress feminine if he so chooses but not in skin showing attire until he’s of age. I’d allow him to be called a feminine name if he chooses. However as a parent I’d let him know that we won’t be changing any body parts until you’re mentally ready to make such an executive decision about yourself and your life. I’d let him know I’m with him but it’s only so far I’m allowing him to go as a child. Nothing permanent will be done because as life goes on decisions change, perspectives change, thoughts change I mean so much changes within so permanent decisions too early in life becomes regrets.
I could be wrong but as a mom and boy mom I really think my child would appreciate my parental guidance. Allowing them to grow and really get to know themselves better, experience life more. Then decided who you are, what you identify as and move on and live your life.
I know it was hard for Dwayne his wife as well as his other kids to swallow such a large pill but it’s great that they’re taking it one day at a time. It’s also great that although he’s big in the public eye he still chose family over everything. That’s beautiful and very much respected in my eyes.
Love and support to the Wade family. I’m sure living life always in front of the camera is hard. Love to Zaya as she continues to figure out the many layers we posses as human.
Parents what are your thoughts? This is a respectful yet opinion encouraged topic. I’d love to know yours. Let’s chat.
I’m going to make this short and quick as hard as that can be for me. Y’all may have realized by now that I am very long winded verbally as well as when writing. Anywho, we’ve all had those conversations and people in our lives that were draining to our souls. I mean the ones that are just absolutely ridiculously dreadful. When my phone ring sometimes if I’m being honest I use my discretion when answering. The same thing goes for a door knock that I didn’t receive a call for beforehand. Boundaries.
In 2020 I can’t consistently be that listening ear to anyone that’s not willing to get better or do better to have better results that will cease them from having to be so dreadful to themselves and to others. I mean hey I can cry with you one time, two times but I be damned if I’m going to sit by and allow you and your situation to drain me for a third time. Only because the person weeping or going through it is unwilling to help themselves. I’ll try to help as much as I can physically. I’ll even give good advice that can help. But if you’re not willing to help yourself then goodbye. #icant
Hold people accountable. Block away negative vibes. Don’t answer the phone call. Save yourself. Some people enjoy being a victim or at least feeling like one. I too use to be that person but I got better. I learned that crying and being sad for too long without helping myself is a waste of my precious yet limited earthly time and dreadful to those I’m constantly crying and or complaining to. Even those that I live with, my man, my kids I was draining them too. It had to STOP.
So I wipe my tears away and I saved myself from the things I felt was having me vibrate so low. Leave the job. Let the toxic relationship go. Separate yourself. Start saving the money. Fix your credit. Set necessary but healthy boundaries. Say no without giving an explanation. Whatever it is that’s draining to your spirit do not allow yourself to continue indulging in it. That’s it.
Whether it’s yourself or someone close to you. Allow yourself or them to vent, be sad, raise all types of hell. Then allow yourself to meditate, then reevaluate what the problem is and the solution for it. Tell the person draining you the same thing.
Be the active force in your own life-Les Brown.
We must save ourselves, lift ourselves and raise the bar on ourselves to be better individuals. Don’t allow yourself to be a drain or be drained.
I haven’t always been comfortable discussing credit. I mean when I say my credit was low, it was low. I’m talking low in the 500s. It’s only until recent years I’ve been able to enjoy having good credit.
I guess it was about 6 years ago when I got in the mental mindset of growth. As I scrolled social media I learned early on to follow pages and people who inspired me in some positive way or another.
I begin following credit gurus, real estate gurus, interior decor gurus, travel gurus, animal gurus and vegan and style gurus and the damn list goes on. Many people I eventually unfollowed. However there’s those that I still follow and have had the pleasure of learning a thing or two from.
Credit was something I was highly interested in. I also knew that I could fix my credit on my own. I did research online took plenty of notes on Credit Karma and begin applying what I’d learned. My first step towards better credit was to rebuild it using a starter credit card.
I immediately got a Capital One Platinum Mastercard and it was only a $250 credit limit. I’ve done very well by this card. It’s still my monthly miscellaneous spending card. It doesn’t allow for the limit to be raised since they took it up to $500. I’m not sure why but maybe because it started off as a secured credit card. I don’t know but after a few years of on time payments they gave me double my $250 starter limit.
That card helped me go from the low 500s to the higher 600s so quick. I used it monthly on everything pretty much. Honestly my usage most months were more than 30% but still my credit grew and grew. After getting into the mid to high 600s I begin getting more credit card offers through Credit Karma to open other cards with better benefits and lower annual percentage rates (APR).
My second card was another Capital One card but this one offered cashback rewards with a lower APR and the limit started somewhere around $3000 in 2016. I used less than 30% of my credit limit monthly. This card help me get into the 700s. I still have this card but the credit limit now is pretty close to 10K on this one from a good payment history. I barely use it nowadays but it’s still great to have.
This year my goal is a FICO score of 800 or better. I also want my other scores to hit the 800s. Positive credit numbers have even greater advantages when spending. Having good credit is vital for you and your household. Growing your credit is easy as long as you’re intentional and have patience because it won’t grow overnight. I’m gonna give a few ways that you can go about growing your credit and establishing good habits.
1. Pay your bills on time and in full. If you spend or use it be sure to pay it.
2. Keep track of your credit reports. Experian, Transunion, Equifax are your three credit bureaus. Get your free credit report and sign up with both Credit Karma and Experian for free. Keep track daily like I use to or monthly like I do now. I love getting these emails about my positive credit habits as shown in the title picture above.
3. Keep track of your credit usage on your cards. Try to use less than 30% of your credit limit monthly. Staying below helps boost your credit quicker in my experience.
4. Avoid maxing out your credit limit especially while trying to grow your credit. However if you need to max out for a particular month just be sure to pay it all in full on or prior to your due date.
5. Don’t close old cards as a longer credit history looks better than newer credit. So cut up old cards and toss them before you close them out. Just limit your use to none at all.
6. One credit card is enough until you learn better money management and you are financially able to maintain more than one card responsibly.
I hope this blog post helps someone establish better credit habits. I just try to inspire individuals to even want better credit for themselves and do what’s necessary to get it and keep it.
You don’t have to pay for credit repair services if you don’t mind doing it yourself. I did. I’m so grateful to have gotten better with my credit and paying behavior. Having bad credit makes you pay much higher APR for cars, homes, furniture etc. With better credit scores and a consistent paying history comes better rates for everything. You go from needing money down to only signing and walking off. Do better today and thank yourself later.
I’m no credit guru but I can answer a few basic questions. I can only share my experience and information I’ve learned along my way. Wishing you a better year of self. Happy Friday luvs.
I know that most woman here on planet earth loves getting dolled up either everyday, on special occasions or just here and there when they feel like it. Obviously we love makeup enough because the sales revenue for the makeup industry in 2018 reached $8.1 billion dollars. 😳
So it’s no doubt that when leaving your house daily you’ll see that many if not most women have indulged in some form of makeup for that day, every day. Some like it heavy others like it minimal.
I always feel less is more. Yet when it comes to makeup and skin it’s hard for many to achieve the look they’re going for with a minimal makeup application. I will say this though when it’s applied with the right skill and proper application technique you get absolutely stunning results everytime even with loads of items used.
I love makeup. I think makeup is a girly thing that quickly takes us ladies from “basic bih” to “baaad bih” for those that like calling themselves btchez while for me I get instant “queening out” vibes as soon as my eyebrows are filled in and my concealer is blended. Don’t hit the lashes with a bomb ass mascara or sexy lash extension. Chile, yes! 💁🏽♀️Baddie alert, don’t hurt nobody.😝
Today I want to share my daily makeup items and daily makeup do’s. I’m a minimalist with makeup because I can’t “beat my face” yet.😫 However this year I plan to dive a little deeper and learn how to glam the fk out my face so I can start sharing looks in the makeup group I’m in on Facebook. It’s lots of inspiration there. I also want to do more YouTube videos regarding many things and my personal makeup application will certainly be one.
On a daily basis I fill in my brows. I add concealer under my eyes as they are naturally dark around. I also add shimmer to my face as I love a dewy or glowy type of look. I add glow to my cheeks, nose, inner eye corners, jaws, forehead and chin. I love my Mac Mineralize Skinfinish for all over my face. I do lashes most days but if not a lash then mascara is great too. Rainy days like today are definitely my mascara days. Here’s a few products I love.
Ladies I’d love to know your daily go to makeup routines. Whether it’s a simple mascara application and carmex to a full beat just let ah sista in our your routine boo. I’m interested to know.
In less you’re living under a rock I’m sure you’ve heard about the interview that Gayle King had with Lisa Leslie. Lisa Leslie is a basketball legend herself. She has so much to share about her own lifetime achievements. From being inducted into the Hall of Fame, 2 final MVPs, 3 Most Valuable Player awards to so much more. She’s been in the WNBA since 1997 so of course she’s very familiar with the old and new players in the league. Many of which she’s become friends with.
We’re all aware of Kobe’s passing recently in a helicopter crash. Now Kobe’s been around quite a while himself. He had the chance to answer any questions Gayle King may have had for him. Now whether he would have agreed to an interview with her I couldn’t say. However the chance to try was there until very recent.
Gayle chose to ask Lisa about a rape case from 2003 that Kobe was accused of doing that was also dismissed due to the alleged victim not being willing to testify. Now maybe it’s just me but I found those questions to be very tacky distasteful and disrespectful to Kobe himself, Kobe’s wife daughters family and friends as well as his fans. Not only did Lisa answer it respectfully and queenly but she answered her clear with nothing left to be spoke about the topic. Yet this heffa Gayle decided to add insult to injury with even more bullshxt.
First of all the case was dismissed so who are we she you or anyone to continue pouring that salt on his name and on his legacy. Not to mention he hasn’t even been buried yet. His passing is still so very fresh that this interview left an even more bad taste in my mouth for Gayle.
I think between Oprah and Gayle they refuse to uplift our black men verses tearing them down. Oprah and Gayle both have yet to interview and or discuss Charlie Sheen and that Harvey Weinstein guy. Is it color related I don’t know. It’s strange though. Then there’s this pussy grabbing president in office that hasn’t been interviewed either.
All I’m saying is do unto others as you want done to you. Don’t be ignorant discourteous or uncivil when interviewing people especially when discussing someone who’s no longer alive to defend themselves. Whose family has to hear the bullshxt inconsiderate things said about their loved one.
I am gonna end this by asking your thoughts on this interview. It seems that this interview has quite a few people eyebrows raised. Let’s chat.
I pray the Most High keeps his hands on Vanessa her family as well as the other families whose loved ones lives were lost in such a tragic way.
I appreciate being able to drop my boys off to school every morning. We have our “we” time as we’re driving in. They even like the Rickey Smiley Morning Show which we listen to most mornings in less we are doing song requests where I allow them to select a song on YouTube to ride to.
As we are approaching the school I’m reminding them to behave well and to not allow anyone to distract them from learning. I also tell them to not disturb anyone while they’re learning. I tell them to pay attention, keep a positive attitude and be a leader. The last thing I say to them before pulling into the school’s driveway is seatbelts and book bags. Then I tell them I love them and will see them later. They already know this means to remove your seatbelts and put your book bags on. Basically get your little a*s ready to get out the car when we pull up in front to park n fly.
Parents or whoever’s dropping kids off in the morning please be mindful of other people’s time. Have your kids ready to get out the car. Be respectful of the park n fly rules. If there’s a person to open the door and help get your child or children out of the car every morning please stop pulling your country a*s up hoping out to do their job. At my kids school they have a whole human standing there to greet your child, open the door and close the door. It’s seriously no need for us parents to get out. I mean it’s not like you’re gonna win a got damn parenting award for going over board and beyond. STOP it.
Most people are ready to keep it rolling on to their next destination. You stopping to get out is holding up the line making others have to wait on your special a*s. Let the morning helpers, help. They enjoy doing it which is why they volunteer to do so.
Park n Fly at my kids school is awesome. The volunteers are there morning and afternoon. They are very helpful and quick. They greet the kids, wish them a great day gives hi fives and all the extra toppings. I’m thankful my boys school has parents and or community volunteers that take time out to be there daily to aid in a smoother morning drop off process. Allowing us to drop and go.
If your kids school doesn’t offer a “Park n Fly” or anything similar. Then by all means do you. If they do have it or something similar please keep your car in “D” and keep moving and have your child ready to hop out verses pulling up and they’re still having to get book bags and coats put on. Efficiency rocks!
Let me know the morning drop off process at your kids school. I’d love to know. Happy Friday!😊
I recently read an article from the New York Times that talked about emergency funds and personal savings. According to this article many households lack an emergency funds as well as personal savings.
From my take on things an emergency fund is for emergencies. Many people keep their emergency funds in home put away for that rainy day you grew up hearing about. Rainy day examples are your washer and or dryer stop working or car repairs or anything all of a sudden without warning. Including loss of income. Use you emergency fund first.
Personal savings are usually connected to your bank account. For example your check gets deposited bi-weekly. You have a goal to save $100 per month. Each check deposited into your checkings you allow $50 to be transferred from your checkings to your savings. Now this type of transfer can be set up to take place automatically per the days you choose. Matter of fact you can even get it transferred to an external account. An external saving account is one that’s not apart of the bank your check was deposited into.
For example you can get your check directly deposited into a Chase bank account but have your saving money transferred to a Citizens Trust bank account where you have a savings account. That’s what I do. Your personal savings only gets touched after you’ve exhausted your emergency funds. Remember to continuously replenish both, that way as you use money from either one it’ll still continue gaining more.
Now onto the numbers. Before reading this article I have always – umm, ok well not always, but definitely within the last 10 years I’ve felt as though ever household needs at least $500 saved as an emergency fund. The same thing goes for a personal savings account. For many people $500 isn’t as easy as it is for others.
Retirees don’t always have extra money to save so that amount may be too much the same goes for single parents barely making ends meet. This is why I try to always encourage people to use bonuses as well as income taxes to help sit aside that bulk amount and add to it as they can, even if that means only adding $5 or $10 each pay check. It’s possible if you want to do it. Trust me. More often than no bonuses and income taxes get spent on things like newer clothes and shoes, fancy vacations and expensive restaurants, etc.
Let’s be more mindful of what’s necessary and what’s not. Take the vacations and buy things but do it on a budget not splurge. That way you’ll still have money to save and may even have a little sumn sumn left to do whatever you choose to.
Savings is necessary. It gives us that peace of mind knowing that when or if shxt hits the fan we’re in a position to handle that shxt like a boss. We’re all individually the boss of our own lives. Take control of things by staying ready so you don’t have to get ready. My man says this often and lives by this by making sure he saves. Trust me there is always something lurking. Be prepared.
Please read this article from New York Times below where I added the link. You must copy and paste. Tell me what you think and I’d also love to know what you think. Let’s talk grown ish…